behavior | Patient Commando

By Soania Mathur

Well here I am, 3:40 AM, up and out of the warmth of my bed – yet again. It’s been years of sleep issues of every sort. Sometimes it’s initial insomnia where I’ve spent countless hours staring into the darkness, reading into every shadow, tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable position, trying not to wake my husband, trying not to look at the clock which seems to mock my difficulty. Other nights I do fall asleep, either because I haven’t truly slept in literally days or because I’ve given in and actually taken yet another pill, this one designed to make me sleep for a few precious hours. I don’t often do this, mostly due to my own stubbornness, the desire to will my body to do what it’s supposed to do without the need for something outside of me to do the job. This obstinate stand usually frustrates my husband and my oldest daughter whose plea “Mama, what’s one more pill especially if it helps?” makes complete logical sense. Yet to me that one little pill (or the three it takes now) represents yet another way this disease has taken away my ability to control [...] continue the story

My name is Mac and I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome in 5th grade. Much of elementary school I spent frustrated and angry at my inability to understand my peers and converse with them. The diagnosis finally gave me a reason for my struggle; it galvanized me to work hard in trying to learn how to imitate and eventually understand the behavior of other people. It also helped when I started playing the “World of Warcraft” video game. When playing this game, I could see how people conversed in text form and was able to take the time to edit my responses without the awkwardness of making eye contact or the pressure to respond quickly. I began to improve socially and soon found I had made some good friends who understood I had difficulty, but thought no less of me. Though I now was able to talk to others, I still found it stressful. Something that has helped is my archery, which has taught me to keep calm and not let emotion get to me. I am currently a sophomore in a charter high school. Many of the negative symptoms that once plagued me have either disappeared from view or [...] continue the story

Sleep – Is It Overrated or Am I Just Stubborn?

Mac’s Story