Risk

By Michelle Lemme

Awake at 5:00 a.m., the “witching” hour, when I am most consumed with ruminating thoughts about my daughter, SA.  I do everything in my power to stay in the present moment, but I am unable to find the calm that almost always come when I do my diaphragmatic breathing.  I pray, but am not sure what it is that will bring me relief…I love my adult child, she needs help and I cannot provide her with what she needs.  Our situation, after nearly 8 months apart, has not improved.  I am not yet strong enough to have her in my life, it is simply too risky and my husband and other daughter are terrified that I will descend into the depths of hell again if our interactions continue.

In late November, after nearly 8 months of virtually no contact with each other (see Into the Darkness), my daughter and I reunited.  We met at my therapist’s (Marlene) office.  For the better part of an hour, Marlene spoke with SA about my illness and the impact that our relationship has on my psyche.  Marlene was brilliant; there was no finger pointing, no blame or shame.  Sarah and I held hands and [...] continue the story

My Rise From Near-Self Destruction

To be or not, as Shakespeare said, or to live or not to live. That was the question which plagued me. I was now seventy-seven years old. Did I want to live into my very senior years, given that I had developed neuropathy which was hampering my ability to walk and causing me great pain? Then, a further question appeared; would it take more courage to commit suicide, and avoid the painful future which would include a lessening of my faculties, both physical and intellectual, and would include requiring someone to look after me, or to choose to live, and accept the years and changes to come, as a challenge?

I had always been healthy, strong, and independent. Thus the concept of not walking, and needing someone to look after my daily needs was an anathema to me. The neuropathy had probably been developing over many years, as I can now recall getting tired faster, and not being able to walk as far. Also there appeared a numbness and tingling sensation in my legs, along with pain up my legs and into my back. As well, the tingling had begun in my fingertips. So now fear really set in. How long [...] continue the story

Change and The Close Sisters

Glenn Close, the founder of http://BringChange2Mind.org, tells the very personal story of how mental illness affected her family. Visit http://BringChange2Mind.org for more information on how you can help combat the stigma around mental health.

October 21, 2009

Change A Mind About Mental Illness

Director Ron Howard lent his vision to this PSA, made possible by over 100 volunteers coming together with one simple goal, to change minds about mental illness.

October 21, 2009

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF DEPRESSION

A few years ago, I wrote my own 10 Commandments for bipolar disorder. I did this after reading someone else’s negative and distorted stigmatic list of commandments that degraded people living with bipolar disorder!

It wasn’t funny, so I figured I would add a little reality and balance to that list and wrote my own, posting it on one of my blogs back in 2007. I thought it was funny and a little educational. There have been many types of 10 Commandments lists for all sorts of things besides bipolar disorder. Since then, I’ve seen that list show up on a dozen or more websites and blogs.

Today I’m writing my own “10 Commandments of depression.” This time I am adding an acrostic spelling of my name inside the list… Just to see a few years down the road who is actually using my original work or who has changed it around a bit. It’s kind of a “human study” and a way to track where this Commandments list will go.

Feel free to copy and paste it to your website or blog! Then 3 months from now, I will do a search to see where these Commandments have landed.

Currently [...] continue the story

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