The World Has Gone Mad

By Michelle Lemme

I’m definitely superstitious.  When I was a child (and even into adulthood) I was, without a doubt, convinced that if I did not say my prayers, and include virtually all of my loved ones AND “all the people in the world who are suffering”, something bad would happen (or at the very least, nothing good would happen) and I would be directly responsible.  Talk about guilt (I could never suffer enough to compare with those caught up in the atrocities taking place all over the world) and anxiety.   Even now, when my sister emails me these crazy “send this to __ people or ___________ will or won’t happen”, I go mental.  I mean WTF, why does she send me these things?  Rationally I know that something happening as a result of not forwarding an email is absurd.  And yet, I am compelled to send those darn things on, just to be on the safe side.  The only way that I can delete these emails, without any risk, is if I don’t actually open them! I should probably mention that avoidance, coping by not having to cope, is one of my fallback behaviors, I have always believed, “ignorance is bliss”.   It’s one of the ways that I manage [...] continue the story

Unwanted Thoughts

By Michelle Lemme

Unwanted thoughts keep popping into my head; need to keep myself distracted so as not to get caught up in the never ending vortex of worry and guilt.   No matter what has taken place in the past, I am and always will be, a mother first.  I believe that the thoughts that I am having are not “abnormal” as I believe any mother who is undergoing something difficult with their child would also be plaque by guilt and anxiety.

My tendency is to catastrophize things, it is the rare occasion in deed when I don’t believe the worse can, and probably will happen.  No matter that I rarely have evidence which supports the catastrophic thought that is haunting me.  Sometimes, even my breathing cannot quell the fear that tears at my heart.

The “guilt” thoughts are the most dreadful, the most useless.  All of these invaders drive me to want to fix everything that is precarious in SA’s life, what mother wouldn’t want to make their children’s life easier if they could?  I’m torn apart, knowing that SA needs to continue to learn to live her life independently and responsibly.  How can she possibly succeed if I intervene in every [...] continue the story

Life is Not a Dress Rehearsal (or the Perils of Procrastination)

By Jo Collinge

This blog is dedicated to the memory of my huband’s nephew, Christopher, taken from this life at the age of only 32.

When I first met the late great Susie Sharman she was wearing a t-shirt which had emblazoned across it “Life is Not a Dress Rehearsal”. How right she was – Susie had more than her fair share of trials and tribulations over the following 20 years of our friendship, but she always lived every day as if it were her last, until her last day came when she slipped peacefully away.

I’m certainly guilty myself of “getting it wrong” over the years – but its from our mistakes that we learn and hopefully move on……Its not doing anything about those mistakes where problems can manifest and at times fester. Tim, having “divorced” himself from his immediate family, had not seen or spoken to his sister, Tanya, or his niece or nephews for five years. At the time, I decided not to get involved but did say to my sister-in-law to keep in touch if she ever needed anything. Since then, we haven’t spoken as such, but more texted each other every now and then, including when I was [...] continue the story

Mixed Cursing: June Update

This month’s installment of Peter Dunlap-Shohl’s graphic novel that shares his personal experience with Parkinson’s Disease.

Letting the Grass Grow Under My Feet

By Jo Collinge

I hate to admit it, it has been quite some time since I last blogged…. in fact I had originally started this blog two weeks ago, but after what has not been such a good day in the Collinge household I decided to sit down and make an effort to finish and publish before I go to bed.

I have been so busy I haven’t had a moment to draw breath, let alone sit down at my pc and write anything – including sending an email to my oldest and dearest school friend to wish her a happy birthday a few weeks ago. Well – that is a lie about the blogs – I have sat down and started a few over the last month, but have never actually succeeded in finishing any.

This blog was originally started at the end of a very frustrating week for me – I had been experiencing weird things going on with my left foot, where it keeps rolling unnaturally on to its outer edge, with my toes going in to spasm and the pain of muscle cramp frankly worse than childbirth. It seems to happen just before my meds are due, especially [...] continue the story