Acceptance

By Michelle Lemme

Approaching the one year anniversary of my “descent into hell”; and where am I today?  I am pleased to say that I am healthy and, for the most part, happy.   I’ve learned enough to mostly manage (live with) my troublesome anxiety and obsessive/compulsive behaviors.  Frankly I can’t really wrap my head around how my “OCD behaviors” are linked to my depression, having said that, I do find that doing the behavior is soothing, I guess because the act of performing certain behaviors consumes all of my focus and attention, which is sometimes a huge relief.   My compulsive cleaning is under control (most of the time), but, I simply cannot leave my face alone, touching, picking and making a mess of my skin – who wouldn’t pick at their face if they were always peering into a 15X magnifying mirror!!  Obviously, I still struggle and know that I still have things to work on, which is why I continue to see my therapist.

I continue to struggle with the whole “not working” thing, which I was thrust into when I got sick.  If I am honest, I know that I have allowed myself to believe that my “value” is and [...] continue the story

Mixed Cursing: May Update

This month’s installment of Peter Dunlap-Shohl’s graphic novel that shares his personal experience with Parkinson’s Disease.

 

More Mixed Cursing

Mixed Cursing: April Update

This month’s installment of Peter Dunlap-Shohl’s graphic novel that shares his personal experience with Parkinson’s Disease.

More Mixed Cursing

Will I never learn?

By Jo Collinge Will I never learn that too much wine, or any at all for that matter, is not good for me. It’s Sunday morning, ten to six, I’ve been up for the last 45 minutes feeling much better than this time yesterday. Friday night had been busier than usual – Tae Kwon Do (on my own this time without Antonia, she had a better offer for a night out playing Bingo of all things with Tim and Elise) followed by a very quick very cold shower at the sports centre and then round to Karen’s for the monthly book club get together.

The book under review this time was “One Day” by David Nicholls. If you haven’t read it, do. It really is very very good. (OK and that’s enough of the superlatives.) I hate to admit it, I cried at the end. I know when I’m on to a good read if I start dreaming about it, and when I’ve finished I can’t start another for at least a few days whilst I get thoughts of the former out of my head, which is what happened with this particular book. I didn’t get home too late, about an hour [...] continue the story

To Answer Honestly, or not…

By Sean McDermott

“How are you”, says my Doctors.

“How are you feeling” say my friends.

“How have you been” say my acquaintances………………….

I don’t know how to answer. I don’t know how to explain or analogise this state. I am still waiting for a liver transplant after four years. Those haven’t been wasted years because I’ve learned a lot about myself and I haven’t changed a lot, but I have a little. The fact is the liver transplant list here in Toronto is comprised of 6-700 individuals like myself with various factors leading to the eventual destruction of enough liver tissue to prevent any possibility of re-generation. The person to receive the next transplant (about 1 every 3 or 4 days) is close to death or heading there quickly and will not live without transplant. Others like me suffer imbalances in our metabolism that causes fluid retention and extreme fatigue.There is a separate structure (Living Donor) for those whose family or friends will donate half a liver in an elaborate but lifesaving surgery without the wait.

The wait.

If I were to find you lined up in a bank or for a bus, and instead of being the usual ten minutes it was now two hours [...] continue the story