Wherein I attempt to make light of my cancer

Note: I was diagnosed with cancer in 2008. As I approach my ‘cancerveresary’, I decided to bring this piece back from the dead, with some slight adjustments.My cancer was so easy that I got embarrassed telling people I had cancer; depending on their sensitivity and sobriety levels, they immediately said something along the lines of OMG ARE YOU OKAY/ARE YOU GONNA DIE? The easiest way to deal with this was to say: Calm it, bitch, I ain’t even gon’ lose my hair. Now that I think about it though, it may have been an upside to lose my hair because a. I could wear a sweet blond wig and b. I could find out what my true hair color is! (Never dye your hair, kids, don’t do it.)

The upsides of cancer aren’t spoken about often, but they definitely exist. I was lucky to have cancer during my birthday season. (My birthday deserved a season. I had cancer.) And boy, did the extra gifts pour in. I received no empty Happy Birthday cards that year; even distant relatives stashed a $5 bill in there! And we all know that opening a card without cash in it is is one of the [...] continue the story