As Useless As a Tit

By Kristen Knott

Written Saturday October 19 2013 @ 11:30 pm

I now realize that I need to refrain from using the phrase “as useless as a tit.” The words seemed harmless on the occasions that I uttered the sarcastic phrase, as I believed it rang true. Outside of breast-feeding, boobs seemed to be a non-essential body part, almost a luxury from my perspective. This viewpoint was fueled by my envy to have big boobs, as boobs although useless seemed to embody feminine power.

I understand that a boob is not required to walk or pick up things or used to communicate with other humans (well that one you could argue). It is easy for people to say, ”you would never know you had a breast removed” yet the reality is I have. When I stand in front of the mirror naked, it is blatantly obvious to me that I am missing a key part of my body. Breasts are one of the first visual indicators to a female body. Like an Adams apple on a man, breasts are fundamental to the female shape

I am feeling now as if people think I am crazy for wanting to pursue reconstruction surgery, although they do [...] continue the story

My week: Pity Party, Burst of Energy, Chemo, and then Thanksgiving!

By Kristen Knott

Written Wednesday October 9 @ 11:40 pm

These past few days have felt a little like an emotional roller coaster. Monday I realized I was finally kicking a bad sinus cold that hit me hard this entire cycle. However, layer in hot flashes and hormones, from what I believe is chemo induced menopause, and you have a ‘pity party’ for one. I allowed myself to embrace the melancholy feelings. I watched a few other breast cancer patient videos from the patient commando website and I cried. I find comfort in seeing and hearing other women’s’ experiences but it is highly emotional for me. It is still very raw and fresh to me. I also read emails and texts from people who have read my patient commando posts. It made me realize how others react to my experience and that also impacted me. I was moved deeply.

Glad that after marinating in a bit of pity and blues, the next day I felt full of energy. I felt normal. I shared that day with a friend that I truly believed that in the near future historians would write about this century and refer [...] continue the story

Terry Fox and a Proud Mom

By Kristen Knott

Written Saturday October 5th at 11:30 pm

My daughter Zoe announced in early September that she would be singing at the upcoming Terry Fox assembly at her school. When I learned that it was only her singing at the event I was amazed but secretly nervous for her. We listened to her practice daily, yet I couldn’t help but be amazed how she was fine with getting up in front of half the school to perform.

September 26 came the day of the Terry Fox assembly, which was followed by the kids running in his honour. When my mother and I arrived at the assembly, I could see the nervous energy in Zoe. The celebrations began with a heartfelt tribute to our Canadian hero, who so bravely gave his energy, pain, passion and finally his life into raising money for Cancer research. I listened, in a very different way than I ever had before to his story. It hit me as I sat in the gymnasium that I was one of the many Canadians with cancer who had benefited from what Terry Fox had accomplished so long ago. In fact the first Terry Fox annual Run was in 1981 the [...] continue the story

Life in 21-Day Cycles

By Kristen Knott

Written Friday September 27 @ 4:00 am

From the time I can remember, I have always been someone who needs to have something to look forward to. It could be a family trip, or a party, or a holiday. Regardless of the event, I have always lived my life looking ahead. No surprise then, that I am a goal setter and always feel a sense of pride and accomplishment when I meet goals or get through whatever task or list of things that was either self-created or handed to me.

Yes, I am a list girl! Write it down, plan it, make it happen! Christmas shopping begins in September and is completed in November each year. Summer holidays are planned in the Fall prior, and kids’ schedules are locked in months in advance. It is not surprising that my career has always revolved around planning and executing on a plan. Being in sales for over a decade and growing up in the consumer packaged goods industry, retail promotional planning was always a minimum of 6 months ahead. Christmas was booked in July, and seasonal planning was integral to the success of the job. I never stood still and my eye [...] continue the story

An Ode to Wonder Woman

By Kristen Knott

Written September 21, 2013 @ 3:30 am

As a child of the 70’s, I like many other girls religiously watched Wonder Women on television. She was beautiful, intelligent, and strong and seemed invincible. I realize now that I have always been drawn to strong women through out my life and my desire to be a Wonder Women.

This past spring I felt a lump in my right breast that simply felt different than others I had felt in the past. I had learned three years prior at 39 that I had fibroids in both breasts and the surgeon stressed the need for me to be diligent about doing self-breast examinations as with dense breasts it could be more challenging to detect a tumor.

Fast-forward through to May 2013, where I underwent two mammograms, an initial ultrasound, followed by an ultrasound guided biopsy of the lump, and then an appointment with the surgeon June 6, to receive the biopsy results. As I sat in the surgeon’s office looking out the window at the pouring rain, he called for my pathology; he hung the phone up and professionally informed me I had a cancerous tumor in my right breast, and that he could [...] continue the story