Life is Hard

I have been avoiding the internet, blogging, and all things online for the past week or so. I have touched in with facebook, and occasionally made sure I didn’t have any important e-mails pending, but mostly I have gone off the grid.

I have also been hiding in my room.

Here is why: my son was just diagnosed with Apergers, OCD, ADHD, ODD, a mood disorder, social phobia, and sensory processing disorders. He may also have an eating disorder. In the last week, I have seen what it is like for a child to lose control and rage without remembering the incident, or even knowing why. I have watched my son struggle to understand why he has to take new medications everyday and what the name/label of Aspergers means. I have learned that I am not alone amongst even my neighbors in dealing with this disorder, and I have cried for the child that I thought I had.

Life was not fun this week, and this blog is about the joy in life. My son was the one thing in our lives that we could count on as being good. My husband and I both suffer from chronic illnesses, my pituitary gland has [...] continue the story

Acceptance

By Michelle Lemme

Approaching the one year anniversary of my “descent into hell”; and where am I today?  I am pleased to say that I am healthy and, for the most part, happy.   I’ve learned enough to mostly manage (live with) my troublesome anxiety and obsessive/compulsive behaviors.  Frankly I can’t really wrap my head around how my “OCD behaviors” are linked to my depression, having said that, I do find that doing the behavior is soothing, I guess because the act of performing certain behaviors consumes all of my focus and attention, which is sometimes a huge relief.   My compulsive cleaning is under control (most of the time), but, I simply cannot leave my face alone, touching, picking and making a mess of my skin – who wouldn’t pick at their face if they were always peering into a 15X magnifying mirror!!  Obviously, I still struggle and know that I still have things to work on, which is why I continue to see my therapist.

I continue to struggle with the whole “not working” thing, which I was thrust into when I got sick.  If I am honest, I know that I have allowed myself to believe that my “value” is and [...] continue the story