Thank you, Waylon Jennings, for that gem! I think I’d make one minor tweak to it to fit my life now: I’ve always been crazy, but Xanax keeps me from going insane. So far most of my tests and come back clear, negative, etc. I have one elevated titer for a virus. We won’t be able biopsy and test for this one unless or until I have another big breakout. They’ll need to biopsy a large lesion. Catch 22! I get to find out if this is the source of my Sweet’s (yea) if I can have another bad outbreak (boo). [Insert foul language here.]!

Let’s make one more revision: I’ve always been crazy, but Xanax almost keeps me from going insane. It’s incredibly frustrating dealing with such a rare disease. 

It’s not the doctors’ faults. So little is known about it, they don’t have anything to go on. So, I get to “donate” blood to my cause own cause quite often. I even have “track” marks from all the “sticking.”

Bethesda truly has been wonderful with the exception of just a small few. I didn’t think I’d be saying I’m glad I’m here if you asked me 3 months ago. I am saying it now. I am very glad [...] continue the story

Do you have chronic illness? Yes? You’re a liar. I’m a liar, too.

The problem with chronic illness is that it’s just that…chronic–always with us. If you could talk to your old self, the you before your illness, your old self would be freaking out about all the symptoms you’d be describing and extremely sad about how drastically life will change from pre-disease to where you are now.

You see, it’s generally a gradual onset. A symptom starts. You are forced to deal with it. You learn to manage that symptom and/or live with it. Slowly the symptom may worsen with you barely noticing it. Or, another symptom starts. You deal with it in addition to the previous one. You learn to manage that symptom and/or live with it. It’s a vicious cycle to which you adjust. Your “normal” is no longer what it was pre-illness. You develop a “new normal.” Your pain scales get readjusted. What would have been an 8 pre-illness on a 1-10 pain scale, with 10 being the worst pain ever, becomes a 5 for example.

Therefore, when family, friends and coworkers (especially coworkers) ask how you’re doing, your response may be “Fine,” or  “I’m doing okay considering.” That’s called minimizing. We all [...] continue the story