Co Survivor Story

Co-survivor: Steve K. Survivor: His daughter, Sari 

In August 2004, I heard five words I never wanted to hear from my daughter. “Daddy, I have breast cancer.” At the age of seventeen I had first heard that same horrible message: “Your mother has breast cancer.” My mom died three agonizing years later, at the age of forty-six. My grandfather told me that the worst pain known is the loss of a child. He lost his daughter, Sari, and he never fully recovered.

At the time, I didn’t think any pain could be greater than losing my mother. Now, forty years later, the unthinkable happened and my grandfather’s words leapt into my mind. What if, like my mother, my daughter (named after my mother) didn’t make it? I was overwhelmed and shaking with fear.

Sari had discovered a tender lump in her breast, but was advised by several doctors (as my mother had been) that cancer doesn’t hurt. When the lump remained after three months, Sari had her first mammogram, followed immediately by ultrasound and needle biopsy. She was 36. And she had breast cancer. Only days after her diagnosis, Sari and I walked hand-in-hand through the corridor of one of the most respected [...] continue the story

We each have a battle to fight

When I was fighting cancer I had two teenagers fighting their own battles, drugs. I am in the hospital, they are in rehab. As I am in surgery I am worried about them being out on the street using. I had my husband as a support system, but his Mother brought him up to believe that we are inferior if we get sick. He never went to a support group with me, he did go to my first doctor appointment when I found out that I had cancer, but that was the only appointment that he ever attended. I did the entire cancer experience alone. Please don’t allow any family member to do that. I consider myself a very strong woman, but that was a hard thing to do. I took care of my sister every day for three months after her diagnosis of matasis of breast cancer just three years before, up to the day she died, and here I am going through this alone. All my family lived out of state, my Mother was too elderly to come to my aid, my older sister just not there. I learned through this experience that if ANYONE I know is [...] continue the story

A friend lost

I learned today that I lost a friend. We weren’t close friends… we’ve had drinks together at parties… he was more of my friend’s friend… people thought that we should be friends, and tried to get us to be friends because what we had in common was that we were both law school cancer survivors, and then young lawyers dealing with cancer. I think for this very reason we didn’t actually become friends. Because it seemed like we were supposed to have this connection… but in real life, when you are with your friends, and hanging out… that isn’t necessarily what you want your connection to be. Like so many things, I don’t know if that makes sense.

I think its the same reason why I’m no good at support groups. Why I can’t seem to muster the motivation to go to a cancer summit… talk one on one, or face to face with people. I don’t like this world in my real world.

And yet, even keeping distance between us… I find that I am still hurt, that apparently there was this connection… a silent acknowledgment that someone else had a general idea of what you were dealing with… even if [...] continue the story