Grief, bardos and Hidden waterfalls

These things death has taught me. Living and dying has become my first noble truth in that we will all die. This teaching was my first and foremost one embedded in my psyche from the repeated daily sacred drift of being with someone I loved dearly and holding the fires of presence with each minute I was gifted to be in her presence. I have since come to understand that this grace was an act of duty, a pledge to devote my life to the beloved. This her last journey was for eleven months a wondrous memory of being by her side living with her/our cancer. That’s what she called it “ living with Cancer”  not dying with cancer. She did not share my first noble truth. Her truth was love everyone , be happy. So there we were happily dying daily. Eva was my guide into Holy Love.

She died on June 19th

ALTAR CARD EVA OSIO SHELLERAnd honoring her request as her guide for her journey of living with cancer a timeless symphonic work, that sacred drift, I was called after her death to enter deeper and journeyed into reciting the Bardos from the Tibetan Book of the Dead for forty days. As with every hero’s journey Hers not mine the story telling always has the shadow that awaits us even in realms on the non-physical plane.That shadow then ushered me into a still deeper sacred drift the realms of disembodiment, that vast realm of non physical non-objectified matter. My second noble truth emerged – Healer heal thy self. The drift into my forty day litany as my daughter’s guide opened into a supreme gift for when it is said aloud with the intentionality of compassionate service as a call to deepen practice – healing then unfolds, seeds unleash their potential and seek out the light, a flow of energy revitalizes.

Upon my returning home to Asheville from California after her passing the guide is then invited into the hero’s journey as witness and the shadow gives up its deepest source of that substance of the holy of holies. The invitation to enter the waterfall’s of the most ancient of ancient mountain entities, those Blue Ridge Mountains of Pisgah Forest. My healing mythic journey that dark/bright paradox shadow yields its mystery the hidden treasure those living waters from deep within its ancient tombs WaterFalls spring forth. “We must believe that the mountain exist, yet it must remain elusive , yielding to none of our usual means of entry…One only gets there by abandonment”. I was called into those healing temples those inner altars for healing and the tears burst cleansing heartbreak with light. I ate my tears and the sun rose and now I invite you to walk in these falls and to heal your loss or pain as well.

The gift of entry is to open the heart, to receive, and allow its healing energy which is to find the hidden treasure the elusive waterfall that beckons. Robert Berman HA’a tells of water’s treasures “If you are open to receiving the water’s energy, you will begin to know that you are much more than your physical body and mind.” Water is truly a liquid consciousness in its purest form. It is a liquid brain and at the same time beyond the brain, with ideas and doorways available to each and every one of us, simply awaiting our return to an awareness that we have long forgotten. Water introduces to us realities and universes beyond our mind’s wildest imagination. Water is the great healer, for it teaches us how to flow with the obstacles of life.

Water is brought forth through tears when we experience magnificent beauty. During a sense of loss, tears are brought forth in order to heal us. With the sound of beautiful notes played within the world of music, water comes forth teaching us how to surrender. Water teaches us forgiveness, for when we watch it we learn how to move around obstacles and to let go of conditions that appear to be in our way”. Excerpt from his book Sacred Water. This sacred waterfall is a metaphor …” as a continuous stream of love from the Divine in the heart of man. When once the fountain is turned on it purifies the heart, it makes the heart transparent to reveal both the outer in the inner world. The heart becomes the vehicle for the soul to see all that is within and without, and then a man not only communicates with another person, but also with God.” Hazrat Inayat Khan

The other power found in the sacred drift healing journey has been in journaling which is what this blog entry is. A reflective creative flow of grace to see with new eyes those experiences. So with that a new and third noble truth is discovered:  Nature is the soul’s manuscript and its language is in its patterns, it’s holy ground.

We are all dying, Healer heal thy self, and Nature is the soul’s manuscript have informed a new sacred encounter – the hidden Waterfalls – with that gift of being and dying, that which invites us into her realms of healing.


Namaste Said