I am an addict in recovery

My name is Jon. I am an addict in recovery. I am 24 years old and have just completed the Our House program here in Edmonton, AB. Over the last 10 ½ months I have changed so much. I have found the peace and serenity I have been looking for my whole life. I used to be insane.

I grew up an only child with a lesbian mother. We moved around a lot when I was a kid. I was kind of a loner until I started using drugs. I started drinking when I was 13 and I loved it. I drank until I blacked out. I started smoking pot when I was 14 and I was partying like most teenagers do. I got introduced to cocaine at the age of 16 when I was at the bar. I partied all through high school and graduated as the all-star quarterback with the trophy girlfriend at the age of 17. I had started apprenticing to be a welder out of school and started working all over the map. I got kicked out of bars all over Alberta for fighting. I started realizing I had problems because I couldn’t stop using, gambling or cheating on my girlfriends. I was in denial and wanted to be a man people feared. I started selling drugs at the age of 18 and my life got very chaotic.

I look back at all the situations where I could have lost my life and I believe now I am alive for a reason. I lost the trophy girlfriend because I was full blown active addict. I went insane after that 3 ½ year relationship ended. I attempted suicide one night at my mom’s acreage by swallowing a large quantity of different pills. I was in so much pain and wanted it to end. I went to bed and woke up puking blood. I was taken to the hospital to have my stomach pumped. I ended up in hospital again after I drank charcoal and had to have my stomach pumped again. I came out of the hospital only to try and mask the pain I was in by working all the time. I ended up moving to Edmonton seeking help. I had no idea I would end up building a successful business as a subcontractor running a welding rig. Unfortunately I destroyed my business because of my addiction. My whole world fell apart because I did not know how to live. I wasn’t satisfied with anything. I isolated myself in an apartment using cocaine, drinking, gambling, smoking cigarettes, watching pornography and having sex with various women for 4 ½ months. During this time I did not sleep and rarely ate. I saturated my couch in sweat because I was frozen in time. I was in hell. I was trying to do enough drugs to overdose or get the courage to jump out the window of my ninth floor downtown apartment building.

I chose to live and I went into detox. I went from there into Our House and her I sit, in the ¾ house of Our House Addiction Recovery 10 ½ months later. I am a changed man. I am free and I quit using drugs, gambling, smoking cigarettes, watching pornography and having sex with prostitutes. I am free today and I trusted the process of the program here and I found myself again. I am no longer a victim, a people pleaser, an attention/approval seeker or alone anymore. I have learned a completely new way of life where I have faith and trust God.


  • Sean

    Honesty and clarity.  the willingness to talk it out openly and to witness life clean and sobre is a gift, that you have earned.  I took my alcoholism to a bitter end that has me on a liver transplant list in Toronto, yet strangely enough I am more at peace than ever in my life because of how my mind has changed.  I have some writing here too, mostly about hospital, that you might relate to.  I have been clean and sobre for four and a half years and wouldn’t have made it without rehab and AA. thanks for your story.
    Sean McDermott