My week: Pity Party, Burst of Energy, Chemo, and then Thanksgiving!


By Kristen Knott

Written Wednesday October 9 @ 11:40 pm

These past few days have felt a little like an emotional roller coaster. Monday I realized I was finally kicking a bad sinus cold that hit me hard this entire cycle. However, layer in hot flashes and hormones, from what I believe is chemo induced menopause, and you have a ‘pity party’ for one. I allowed myself to embrace the melancholy feelings. I watched a few other breast cancer patient videos from the patient commando website and I cried. I find comfort in seeing and hearing other women’s’ experiences but it is highly emotional for me. It is still very raw and fresh to me. I also read emails and texts from people who have read my patient commando posts. It made me realize how others react to my experience and that also impacted me. I was moved deeply.

Glad that after marinating in a bit of pity and blues, the next day I felt full of energy. I felt normal. I shared that day with a friend that I truly believed that in the near future historians would write about this century and refer to the cancer plague that affected millions around the globe. I believe, with every fibre of my being, that a cancer cure will come. We are unfortunately the guinea pigs for future generations, as were our grandparents and great grandparents before us. Already, many cancers are now treated like a chronic disease and are no longer a death sentence. I expect that my grandchildren will look at cancer in a completely different way than my parents. Cancer treatment will be targeted for all cancers. Treatments will come; payors like governments will need to embrace these new treatment regimes. Diagnostic tools and testing will be so precise that no one will have to have numerous biopsies and/or surgeries or like me, have painful needles of toxic isotopes injected in our bodies prior to surgery to find the sentinel node pathway. Women will not need to have 8-inch scars across their chest and lose their nipples. People won’t need to have permanent pain in their arms due to chemo injections. I mean I have always loved the colour red but when its bright red chemicals are being pumped into your vein, suddenly the attraction to the colour fades.

This week my daughter 13-year-old Eden wrote a story for school and she created a super hero called “The Cure”. Her story and ideas brought tears to my eyes. I thought to myself that “The Cure” would definitely become my favourite super hero even out shining Wonder Woman!

I am now lying wide awake due to the steroid I had to take in preparation for my 4th round of chemo tomorrow morning. Happy to state I am officially 50% done my chemo regime! I can now see the light shining at the end of the tunnel.

As Thanksgiving weekend rapidly approaches I am thankful for so much. My kids laughter; my caring family and friends; my husband’s finger drawing of a heart with our initials on the shower wall that he left for me to find this morning (I beamed from ear to ear when I discovered it). I am thankful for the wonderful cancer treatment I am receiving at Juravinski, and I am thankful that today was a beautiful sunny day. I also have to admit I am very thankful that I have a pass on clean up and preparation for our Thanksgiving dinner this year!! How great is that? My pity party for one is now receding into the distant past. Happy Thanksgiving to you!

 

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