The Importance of Transforming My Mind

By: Jean Lee , Taiwan

Fourteen years ago, I got cancer. Due to mistaken diagnosis, my breast cancer was already in phase II when it was confirmed. I had total resection and chemotherapy nine times. My husband told me, “You are the pillar of our home. If you are happy, the whole family will be happy!” This encouraged me to put my sadness away and face my fears. I chose to forgive my doctor for the misdiagnosis and worked voluntarily to serve other cancer patients in the hospital. When everything seemed back to normal, I got a more severe test. Five years later, my cancer transferred to my bones and the doctor warned me that I could be paralyzed. So, I accepted another 17 radiation treatments. After 6 months, the cancer transferred to my neck lymph, liver, etc. and I began living with a series of chemotherapies. Three years ago, in a fortuitous opportunity, I went to the “Taiwan Cancer Friends New Life Association”, a daycare center with volunteers to accompany cancer patients every day. We practiced whirling meditation exercises, attended a support group, and took part in body-mind-spiritual classes in the center. I felt so good to be a member of the association and it was the first time in my life that someone really understood my true feelings. In the meantime, I still underwent chemotherapy every week. I took all kinds of medicine, but the cancer index was still very high. I had symptoms like ascites, pleural effusion, and hepatomegaly. This caused me not to be able to eat or lie down, and I even ran out of breath when I spoke. After a long reflection, I realized that it is more important to transform my mind and not only exercise my body. When I was practicing the whirling exercise, I should also rotate my mind and focus on my heart. I started thinking positively about everything, not worrying about how long I would live, but thinking of how to enrich my life. Now, with sincere appreciation and firm trust, I believe the whirling meditation will advance my therapy and minimize the side effects. I feel gratitude toward my teachers and my doctor. I pay respect to the medicine, the heaven, the earth, and the whole universe. I appreciate every person, every matter, and every environment that I encounter. I am passionate about living and I am touched by the tiny things in my life. Any setback cannot beat me down. I can face every day with smile. As a happy volunteer I want my fellow practitioners and cancer friends to see hope in me.