Heavy duty thinking for such an early hour. Here it is 3:30 A.M; the time when I awaken…my special time. Parkinson’s has been my cunning partner since 1995 when I was 49 years old. It has changed me in so many ways least of all physically. No I can’t walk for miles, but I can dance and sing and still try to do things that others say I shouldn’t. No I am no longer an Assistant Principal, but I have brought my abilities, skill and empathy to others by sharing thoughts, a smile, a word of encouragement. No I don’t drive long distances, but I have learned how to ask for help and really appreciate it. I have always felt good about who I am but now I truly value what I have become.
I have learned to embrace the day even if it starts out crappy. I realize the importance of seeing the glass half full. NO I am not Pollyanna, but lamenting my situation could not help and would drag us all down. So I do get depressed but when I do I slap myself around mentally and straighten up my body and brain and keep on going.
I am so lucky to have my high school sweetie still with me after all these years. My Bill is my best friend; my immediate helper and cheerleader. He helps me and I help him. We are there for each other. One of the scariest thoughts for me is a picture of me alone without my boy Bill.
I am a Jew and I love the spiritual “Amazing Grace”. The words and importance of the song brings me to tears. Recently I read a definition of GRACE.
“Grace is love that is given when it is not deserved. IT is forgiveness given when it is not earned. It is a gift that flows like a refreshing stream to quench the faces of angry condemning words”.
Parkinson’s has allowed me to work towards “Grace”. Ever cunning and unpredictable, PD makes my life very challenging. Certainly I am not grateful to have it but I have tried to use it to my personal growth. This is my philosophy; it works for me and after all that’s what really matters.