In Sickness And In Health…

In sickness and in health… regardless of religion or cultural background, this vow usually makes its way into most wedding ceremonies. But how many of us in our relative youth at that time, actually truly understand what those words mean. “In health” is the easy part of course but what happens when unexpectedly some sort of chronic, serious illness decides to intrude on your perfect union?

That’s exactly what my husband Arun and I faced over fourteen years ago. We were married just five years when my symptoms began. And despite my desire to hide my head in the sand, he’s the one who encouraged me not to ignore the tremor. He was the one I ran to, my eyes full of angry tears, after the first neurologist had the gall to tell me he felt I had young onset Parkinson’s. He sat holding my hand when months later the second well-renowned movement disorder specialist confirmed this life sentence despite my desire to be absolved from the initial diagnosis.

He listened to what my physicians were recommending and took care of the practical side of things when all I heard were words and nothing was registering. And he was the one who [...] continue the story

A wounded Parkinson’s soldier

November 28, 2011

I don’t quite know where to start. I always want to be respectful to MrP. He’s a good man. He’s a human being and I like human beings, generally. I think most are pretty damned fine people. MrP is doing brilliantly at work. Most people see him handling this Parkinson’s thing brilliantly. Hats off to him, big respect.

There is just one fly in the ointment. He is very angry. With me. Few people see this. His paranoia has come back in droves. He suspects I am having an affair, if not several of them. My emails and phone texts are all found to have meanings in them. He looks at them alot. He thinks I lie to him. My work twitter is apparently in code. (I have stopped tweeting. I love talking to people in my work community, they are great fun and just like a good natter, but it distresses him too much. MrP’s closest friend suggests I carry on, but I don’t like the arguments it can cause.) He has seen me do things twice, that I know of, that I have not done.

He is angry that I am not a doting, loving wife. Yet how [...] continue the story

I am a caregiver of someone with MS

By Kent Pollard

I think that part and parcel of coming to terms with becoming a caregiver, is acknowledging that there is going to be change, change that will almost always be difficult at the start. Change that we have to accommodate and embrace if we are going to have the best life we are capable of having.

My wife, Victoria was diagnosed with MS on October 5th of 1998, three days after I started a new job. At the time, caregiving didn’t even enter into my experience. We were a couple and there were things that we did for each other, none of them out of the ordinary. For the first 4 or 5 years after the diagnosis, caregiving was a minor, and completely unrecognized, part of my life. Victoria experienced unusual fatigue, and we worked through some initial anger and bitterness toward the world, but she continued to work and our lives were, or at least, my life was, not particularly disrupted. However, the disease state progressed, slowly but inexorably until about four years later when it, and the accompanying symptoms had become much more pronounced and began to creep into our day-to-day lives. Victoria was more tired than ever. [...] continue the story

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